One star awake...
Meh. It's like I'm turning this into an art blog...
Texture from Deviantart.When I learnt that I won a bronze award in the Commonwealth Essay Competition, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It's like what a friend of mine said, "Once you've achieved what you think is the best result, you'll want to achieve it again, and when you don't, you just think you're not worthy of it."
I find this to be true. Sometimes, I push at myself too hard until I mess everything up, like my most recent Geography test. It's going to literally determine my fate for next year's classes, and I think I've flunked it badly. Most of the time now I do anything to just distract myself from thinking depressing things and killing of my brain cells with anger. I run Windows Media Player and put a song on replay. Like... depressing music.
First, there was If I Die Young, and then Bring on the Wonder, and then No Envy, No Fear, and some others. Currently it happens to be Skully's She Moves Through The Fair.
One thing I noticed: people usually die in Irish folk songs.
There are a lot of things that can happen unexpectedly. Like there was once, when I was 9, my Maths teacher died. The substitute teacher was horrible, and I hated her deeply. I missed my Maths teacher, and... she gave me a lot of priceless things. Now I almost can't remember how her handwriting looks like. I mean, it's been years.
If I flunk that Geography test, and if my other subjects don't match up properly, I can safely say that my life is over.
Maybe not over over, but I'll have to drop out of the class I'm currently in. Funny how reluctant I was to enter that class, and now I don't want to leave it. I don't have many friends in the other classes, and I guess I'm just too much of a loner.
By the way, the post title is part of the lyrics for "She Moves Through The Fair."
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