I'm inspired. I've never been one to listen to loads of music, but when I was doing some homework my friend mention Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway. I've actually heard the song before, but I was probably too young to discern the lyrics form the music. So now I think I'm addicted to it.

So the first part is:

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Make a wish, take a chance
Make a change, and break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance
Make a change, and break away

All right. Maybe I hate Photoshop.

Maybe not. All my covers for Promised were made there. Still, it's the most frustrating computer software that I've seen, and I think I'm going to try out Inkscape or Paint Tool SAI soon.

Yeah. This time it's a like/hate relationship with a computer software.

Okay. I made the first two major changes in Promised. Yay! I'm not so afraid of that MS Word document any more!

Right now I'm going to stop looking at Promised, and focus on writing something else. Then after some time I'm going to go back and see what I'll do about the manuscript. I'm trying to get an outsider-type of view on it, as in I'm trying to read Promised like a normal reader. Which is not easy.

Still, I've recently become addicted to The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. Why did I not read them sooner? If you haven't read them, you simply have to! The storyline, the characters, everything is wonderful! And I've just finished Holly Black's Tithe, and I'm still confused about it. Ah. It's the holidays, which means that I'm going to indulge myself and read. I've already read... four books already. Meh. I still have about a week before school reopens.

So the project I'm currently writing is Heiress. Science-fiction/dystopia. Something new, anyway. I'll post more about it later, probably. I'm a procrastinator, yeah.

Ugh. I wonder if I'll ever be good enough for publishing...

Yeah. Who feels grumpy?

I know editing isn't going to be easy, but now it's officially killing me. I don't know what to write, and what changes I should make. It's almost as though I'm afraid of changing it.

Yeah. I'm actually afraid of a Microsoft Office Word Document.

Still, I edit. Still editing. Nowhere near done. The manuscript is never going to be perfect, and I don't mean for it to be either. Ugh. I feel as though the entire freaking concept is childish and the characters are underdeveloped. It's like I'm not doing enough. Not enough plot development, or character personality, or that historical feel that I've very obviously failed to achieve.

Note to self: Things that sound good in your head don't necessarily mean they're actually good.

So what do I do? I don't delete, I don't add, and I don't criticize. I reread the whole thing. I'm not happy with it, but I don't hate it, either.

Wow. I'm actually having a love/hate relationship with a Microsoft Office Word Document.

And then there's real life. As in "No sylphs + Exams = Real life." It interrupts me, and affects my mood. When I'm not in a good mood I can't write.

So, basically, I'm just trying to say that I'm grumpy.

Whew! I'm fighting the urge to scream and shout like a small child given a pack of sweets. I finally finished Promised! Last night, which was April 29 2011, at 11:47 p.m. according to my computer. Yay! I'll remember this day forever!

I started writing it somewhere around the end November 2010, and I constantly suffered from interruptions and distractions, and lack of inspiration. I was interrupted by school exams, homework, and extra-curricular activities, which always made me grumpy to no end. I was distracted by anime/manga/manwha. Bleach, Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama!, Pandora Hearts, The Bride of the Water God, etc. etc. And then there's all those phone calls from my anime-crazy friend... They were distractions, so they don't make me grumpy, haha.

Ask any of my friends. If I don't write for several days, I get all moody and depressed, like the world's about to end. And irritable. And grumpy...

Now I think it's overly long. My original goal was 100000 words, but that somehow got extended to 108000 words, but now the word count is approximately 109125 ... Right. I should stop. I should start editing...

I find that there are a lot of genres out there to write about.

Personally, I've only tried historical fiction, contemporary fiction, fantasy, paranormal romance, and maybe mystery. I've never really ventured into science fiction/dystopian before, except for that short story I wrote for the Commonwealth Essay Competition in 2010. It was called The Mad Scientist and was mostly inspired by the Joss Whedon television series Dollhouse. Sadly, it ended with just two seasons. It was the first science fiction series that I ever saw that I truly enjoyed.

As for books, I do have some sci-fi ones. There's A Tale Of Time City by Diana Wynne Jones, which is the first Diana Wynne Jones book I ever picked up. And then there's the Skinned Trilogy by Robin Wasserman. And finally, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins! I'd only finished it recently, and I'm still kicking myself for not reading it sooner. I'm possibly dying to get my hands on I Am Number Four, though I can't seem to find a copy anywhere ...

Hmm, I can't believe it. I'm writing historical fiction, as in the past, and yet I hate history, and I've never read anything of the sort before, unless you count The Secret Garden, which I read when I was eight out of sheer boredom, and I've loved it ever since. Other than that, I usually can't stand classics. I read 20 pages of Jane Eyre because - yes - I had nothing better to do. A copy of Les Misetables was given to me as a gift, so I read that just to be polite. 100 pages. Most of it was pretty boring, for me, at least. I found it long-winded. Oh, well ...

Paranormal romance. That's not a bad genre, actually. I love the L. J. Smith books, and The Hollow Trilogy by Jessica Verday. There's also Dark Secrets by Elizabeth Chandler, and numerous others that I've read. For me, paranormal romance is sort of like a mix between fantasy/paranormal, romance, and general fiction. Contemporary fiction is something I hardle ever touch, and what I've read include To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee and Ways To Live Forever by Sally Nicholls. Hmm, maybe I'll write something from that genre soon ...

Now ... Fantasy. J.K. Rowling, Neil Gaiman, and Diana Wynne Jones. Their books are all awesome. Gaiman's Stardust is one of my favourites, and so is Fire and Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones. Who doesn't love Harry Potter? I like the idea of a fantasy world, because there are no restrictions. Not in fantasy, and not in sci-fi. You can have dinosaurs prowling the world if you want.

But historical fiction, however, is confining ... There aren't any modern inventions to help you out of tight situations. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know why I chose to set Promised in historical times ...